My Story

I categorise my life as being 'BC' (Before Children) and 'AD' (After Disability), although since my big brother is on the spectrum, I have always been aware of 'difference' and understood my capabilities with regard to caring. I came from a successful, civic-minded family full of strong women who cared or whose job it was to care. All of my extended family were very creative people especially in traditional textiles, graphic and engineering design with an abiding love of literature and reading.

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Aeons ago I studied English Literature at Sunderland Polytechnic but spent every spare minute in the Art Department getting involved with printing, costume and prop making. The then alternative Socially Engaged Community Arts model which I participated in was a revelation to me and a talk given by an artist from Argentina remains with me to this day. This artist. whose name I have sadly lost in the mists of time, was engaged in raising awareness and campaigning against social oppression resulting in silent vigils for 'The Disappeared'; arts practice which put her very life at risk.

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At this time my lifelong love of Festivals began and I regularly went to the Paris Communade with friends and 'Festival of Fools' in Devon, with my Mom. I still, to this day, attend Festivals as they combine my love of hedonism, wild swimming and camping in my trusty Argos Tipi.

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After the birth of my first child, a daughter, in 1982, I fully intended to continue my work in issue-based Community Arts. The rare and pervasive, neurological condition my daughter was born with Neurofibromatosis Type 1, had seismic consequences for myself and my family, however. My daughter had the first, of many, annual bone operations in 1984, the last in 2000 (although the reason for them was not diagnosed as a are bone complication of Nf1 until she was nearly 7). I cannot describe to you the effects on her person, her schooling and restrictions on her life due to this disability as they are too panful to mention; but I can say she has an unnerving capacity to endure pain and 'keep it sweet', to be creative and to pursue her commitment to living an honourable life. She is always considerate of those less fortunate for whatever reason.

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My second child, another daughter, was a young carer throughout her childhood, sandwiched as she was between her wheelchair wheelying older sister and her highly-strung Lego maniac younger brother. Her thankfully brief period of teenage rebellion passed and after a few false starts she began on her HE education. The term 'young carer' was not recognised back then and rarely addressed even now, but she has triumphed and achieved goal after goal through sheer hard work and application. Her position as KS4 Lead Practitioner in English at a Secondary School confirms her success and offers the challenges she relishes with young people.    

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My third child, a son, was also born with Nf1. He is a joy to me, a real creative independent thinker and a dynamo. But the sparks which emanate from him aren't always pretty; they can be dangerous. He never ever settled into school life yet has made huge leaps in widening his horizons, participating in community arts events and following his passion for live music despite the duress this puts him under. Defining him as 'socially awkward' (which is much kinder than the term he uses for himself), his mates still encourage him to take part in as much as he can outside his home and never stop visiting him.  

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Caring for so long, so intensively, makes the heart ache painfully. Shutting down isn't a good option. I later found out it destroys your sense of self and just creates more problems. I have reached out for support whenever possible but sources of help are few and far between and always under-resourced and under-valued in this city. In fact, the effort, frustration and additional stress involved in seeking to get support put in place is one of the most challenging aspects of being a carer. 

Having experienced over 20 years of personal artistic abstinence with the creative aspects of my life limited to making children's clothes and domestic sewing, taking family photos, art play and messy play 

when the kids were little; all of which are excellent ways to hone your skills, by the way, but not the same as developing, following and completing your own personal arts projects!

Due to mental and physical breakdowns, I couldn't muster the concentration and self-belief to begin making again. Until 2008, that is, when I discovered the University of Birmingham's 'Survivor Arts' exhibition in the Terraced Huts, Selly Oak campus. This was a 'eureka' moment and meeting Prof. Dawn River and the team of dedicated professionals at the Institute of Applied Social Sciences has been a life saving relationship. 

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My creative self confidence grew and, in 2010, I produced an exhibition of new artwork at the Birmingham Voluntary Services Centre, Digbeth in their 'People's Social Justice Gallery'. The exhibition, 'Natural Selection' was a resounding success and groundbreaking in its combination of issues linked to science, genetics and my response to long-term caring, with work made by my son and daughter, both young adults with a lifetime's experience of disability. This has led to many other achievements for me and I am now proud to be embarking on post-Graduate study at BCU School of Art, Margaret Street. 

For examples of my work and projects please see my 'Portfolio' pages and 'How I Began' link.

If you want to comment on any aspect of my work or my website please use the 'Contact' form.

LB 2016 

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